Keeping the flames of love burning
Relationships require a personal investment from both parties. A healthy relationship can help to relieve the strain that daily life offers, but a relationship that is out of balance, can become a drain to ones life and happiness.
One of the most important characteristics of a good relationship is to keep the lines of communication open. It may not always be easy as we tend to get preoccupied with our own thoughts and problems and forget that our partner may not be able to read our mind and know what is going on in our lives.
Communication may be verbal or non verbal and each of use has a different way of giving and receiving information. Some may respond better to sight, sound or touch and others prefer to talk about what is happening in their lives. Nonverbal cues such as eye contact, leaning forward or away, or touching someone’s arm can communicate much more than words. One partner might find that a massage at the end of a stressful day is good for their tension, whilst another prefers to be still for a while at the end of the day to gather there thoughts and take their mind off work. Take some time to listen to your partner’s method of communication. You can ask them what is important to them, and how they verbalize their thoughts and feelings.
It is also valuable to tell your partner how you express your feelings and thoughts. Think about the messages that you are sending out, and if what you say really conveys what you feel. If you insist that you are okay, while clenching your teeth and looking away, your body is clearly signaling you are not.
Another quality of a good relationship is to understand that relationships are built on give and take and that compromise is important if you want to maintain a good balance between you.
If you both know what is important to each other you will go a long way towards building an atmosphere of co-operation. If one party perceives that they are giving all the time, then feelings of bitterness and anger will develop.
As a partnership you have teamed up to achieve a common goal of being together and building a strong relationship. Some believe that relationships are about power struggles. If you are both trying to be better than the other, or compete against each other you will build an atmosphere of resentment instead of one that is built on peace and harmony.
Ups and downs can be expected within any relationship and conflict is inevitable when two very different people live so closely together. Make sure that you respect your partner’s opinions and aim to resolve the issue at hand, rather than bringing up the past or trying to gain the upper hand.
